Why Batman Is Awesome

   It's been almost two years since my last post. What can I say. I've been busy. And I haven't felt any good stories for the Vail. So screw the Vail. Screw blogs. No one's reading this anyway. But recently The Dark Knight Rises came out and people keep trying to shove down my throat how much they hated it. So I wrote this in response.

Why Batman Is Awesome

by Joseph Pettine

The lights dim and the people around me fade into the shadows. Only a moment ago the audience was howling as a teenager in a purple suit and clown make-up faced off against a joker dressed as Adam West's Batman. For five straight minutes an entire row of seats had counted down the moments until midnight, announcing each minutes passing with a ridiculous vampire laugh. But now the theater grows as silent as the grave. In the darkness I spare a look at my coworkers, my friends, my loved ones. All of us joined together by our love, anticipation, and Batman. Not even the forlorn loner loudly complaining through a mouthful of popcorn can ruin this. Why? Because Batman is Awesome!

For those of you – who've been living in Pena Dura Prison – who don't know who Batman is... As a little boy Bruce Wayne watched his parents gunned down by a greedy mugger and his life changed forever. Unable to move on from the tragedy, Wayne traveled the world mastering the arts of combat and detection. He then returned to Gotham and, understanding that criminals were a superstitious and cowardly lot, donned the guise of Batman to strike fear into his enemies and bring order to his beloved city. And so he prowls the streets at night, bringing justice to a world of injustice, and reminding the most humble of us that you don't have to dress like a Bat to stand against the villains who just want to ruin it for everyone.

And there always will be the villains. The Scarecrows and Jokers and Banes who want to make everyone miserable. At midnight on July 20^th during a premiere of the Dark Knight Rises a masked gunman opened fire inside the theater killing twelve innocent people and wounding fifty eight more. The twenty-four year old assailant was quickly apprehended and later identified himself to the police as the Joker. Except he isn't the Joker. He isn't anyone special. Just an asshole with a gun. The same kind of person Batman has been fighting against his whole life. And the cast and crew of the Dark Knight Rises responded to the tragedy in true Batman fashion. Sending out heartfelt condolences to the victims and their families, suspending further premieres of the movie out of respect, Christian Bale even visited the surviving victims. Because we can't let the gunmen ruin the movie theaters and happy places we live in.

And there will be plenty of people trying to ruin the Dark Knight Rises for you. Almost as many as the people who want you to enjoy it. I liked it. And I figure I'd let you guys like it or dislike it to your heart's content. If you want a review then go read the forty five glowing appraisals of what many are calling the Godfather of superhero films. I'm only going to give three simple reasons for going to see the Dark Knight Rises.

1. Catwoman. For comic book fans there has never been a more accurate adaptation of character from comic book to film. For people who like strong woman who don't take guff from masked men then Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle is a dark dream come true. For everyone else... How do you not like Catwoman?

2. Bane. Many of you may find yourselves disappointed by Bane not being Heath Ledger's Joker. Get over it. Tom Hardy delivers a performance in a mask better than some actors do in the nude. Bringing a range of emotions to the screen with only his eyes and massively muscular body. Tom Hardy as Bane is the James Earl Jones as Darth Vader of our generation.

3. Michael Caine. Do I need to explain this? Since 2005's Batman Begins Michael Caine has been a staple of Christopher Nolan's films. Whether it be about magicians or dream thieves or Batman, Michael Caine has always brought a wealth of emotion and acting talent to his roles. This is in no way a slight to the impressive cast featuring Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman, Joseph Gordon Levitt, and Cillian Murphy. But if Michael Caine doesn't have you crying by the end of the film then your heart is colder than Mr. Freeze's.

I went to see The Dark Knight Rises with my friends and loved ones and coworkers. We loved the film and we had a great time. What more can you ask for. So go see the dang movie. And enjoy it.