The Vail: London Fog (Episode Three: Whistling In The Dark)

I am busting my ass to get this to you, my actual readers, so enjoy. I know I did.

The Vail: London Fog
by Joey Pettine

Episode Three: Whistling In The Dark

(A dark attic. Fluorescents spring to life revealing dozens of human bones picked clean, blood stains the walls and rafters. In the center of the attic sits a bulky, barrel shaped machine with a strange antennae. At it's forefront is attached a small monitor and keyboard. The machine is clean of gore. To the right of the machine is a tiny desk with a modified radio and video camera, the latter connected to a large wall mounted monitor. Enter STEVEN TILLHOUSE and ANDY VAIL.)

ANDY
Son of the Lord. Is this why you called?

STEVEN
I-I had no idea... There must be dozens of bodies.

ANDY
No bodies here. Just bones.

STEVEN
How do we know we're alone?

ANDY
It's alright. Something this powerful, I'd have sensed it.

STEVEN
You sure about that?

ANDY
What's been going on here?

STEVEN
It's so weird, being in the place that I died. It's like reading your own headstone.

ANDY
Steve. Focus. Why did you call me up here?

(He takes some papers from his jacket and hands them to Andy.)

STEVEN
Police reports. I started collecting them when I moved to Rotterdam. And... and remem... remembered--


ANDY
Remembered your brother was dead.

STEVEN
Go to Hell.

ANDY
Steven, it's alright. We can't always be there for our families.

STEVEN
Especially when you're dead.

ANDY
Locals reported eerie lights the night your brother died.

STEVEN
And screams. Next two weeks there was a rash of lost pets in the neighborhood. In January there was another report of strange lights and screaming.

ANDY
The night we came here.

STEVEN
And turned the machine back on. People have gone missing since then and it's getting worse. At first it was only this neighborhood but a report was recently filed in the next state over.

ANDY
It's getting stronger. You think it has to do with your brother's machine?

STEVEN
In every report witnesses describe a strange man. It's Annie.

ANDY
No. It's the thing that wears his face.

(Steve clutches his face.)

ANDY
Are you alright?

STEVEN
Fuck, no! The undead can't cry. Can't even mourn my brother.

ANDY
You can honor him by stopping this. It's time to bring in the expert. Dr. North.
(Nothing.)

STEVEN
It's safe, Dr. North.

(DR. NORTH enters, trembling with fear. He sees the gruesome scene and runs. Steven grabs him.)

DR. NORTH
Why did you bring me here? I told you... I'm... done with this stuff.

STEVEN
We need you.

DR. NORTH
No... no... no.

(Andy gets fed up and grabs Dr. North from Steve.)

ANDY
Look at it! Look at it, you son of a bitch! Cause you've done worse! I get it, you don't wanna die and spend eternity flopping around in Satan's frying pan. But you deserve it. People are dead because of you. My brother died because of you.

DR. NORTH
I'm sorry.

ANDY
Gonna have to do a lot better to stay outta the Pit. We need to know about this machine and you're the only person smart enough.

DR. NORTH
I'll... take a look.

(Dr. North goes to the machine. Steve goes to Andy.)

STEVEN
That was a little harsh.

ANDY
That man helped kill my brother and almost tricked me into killing an innocent man. I don't have as much faith in him.

DR. NORTH
The machine is fine.

STEVEN
Is it on?

DR. NORTH
No, it's been... inactive... for some time.

STEVEN
So the gateway's closed?

DR. NORTH
That is an incorrect... assumption.

ANDY
You think the gateway's open.

DR. NORTH
There never was a gateway... into another dimension. That would tear a hole in reality and... disintegrate the universe. The... machine... alters... matter... enough... to peer into other... dimensions. Like a... window into another... world.


STEVEN
But something came through and killed my brother.

ANDY
It's killing others.

DR. NORTH
I... agree but no... flesh and bone... creature... came through this machine. But your brother postulated... other dimensions... wouldn't be so limited in their... reality.

STEVEN
Like that Twilight Zone episode. The little girl falls through her wall into this wacky, floating fourth dimension.

DR. NORTH
What sort of creatures might exist in those... nether realms. Perhaps... something less tangible came through.

STEVEN
We need to destroy this thing.

ANDY
We have to send this thing back first.


DR. NORTH
We need to get it here first.

STEVEN
If we get it here can you send it back?

DR. NORTH
I can use the camera to reverse the polarity of the machine's neutron flow. It... might... force it back. But... it... might... also erase our own minds.

ANDY
Fine, get it ready then both of you get out.

(Dr. North begins working.)

STEVEN
Fuck you. This is my brother's killer. I deserve to be here.

ANDY
I'm stronger than you guys. I'll be okay.

STEVEN
I don't care if you're Superman. Fuck you and fuck this better than me shit.

ANDY
Steven, that's not what I said.

STEVEN
You're still only human, Andy. Last time I checked, I'm not.

(North stops.)

DR. NORTH
Done. All you need to do is... press record.

(Dr. North hurries out.)

ANDY
Fast for a dead guy.

STEVEN
So we just gonna wait for it to come home and find us?

ANDY
Last time it came when we fired up the machine.

(Andy turns it on.)

ANDY
Now please go.

STEVEN
No. Is it on? There's no lights.

ANDY
Maybe the lights aren't from the machine.

STEVEN
Then it's not here.

ANDY
I can't feel anything. It's not working. Any ideas? He was your brother.

STEVEN
Like what?

ANDY
I don't know. You wanted to help. What's different from last time?

STEVEN
The radio.

(Steven goes to the radio.)

STEVEN
The radio was on last time we were here. Playing Annie's favorite song.

ANDY
You think it likes the music?

STEVEN
Maybe it's more like my brother than it knows.

(Steven turns on the radio. Tom Waits sings “Innocent When You Dream”. At first nothing happens then the room goes dark with an eerie glow. The shadows move.)

STEVEN
Ever seen Hellraiser?

(Somewhere in the dark, something whistles along with the music. Andy moves for the camera but a cornucopia of pale, dead hands come out of the darkness grabbing him and Steve. The men struggle but they're held tight. Behind them, in the shadows, pale faces can just barely be made out. Out of the shadows steps DR.TILLHOUSE. He casts a sickly pallor and stares down the men with an inhuman quality.)

ANDY
Holy shit it likes this song.

DR. TILLHOUSE
I find it relaxing.

STEVEN
It speaks.

ANDY
They all do.

DR. TILLHOUSE
I'm hurt you'd try to banish me so soon. I haven't been to this world in so long and I've only just arrived.

ANDY
Oh no. You're not another one of them annoying Gods are you?.

DR. TILLHOUSE
What I am is angry with you
.
(There is an inhuman screech from the shadows. Steve and Andy jerk in pain, screaming agony. The shadows scream with them.)

ANDY
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!!!!

DR. TILLHOUSE
Music to my ears. Oh, how I've missed music.

(Tillhouse whistles the song as the shadows scream. Steve and Andy scream and struggle, something unseen torments them.)

STEVEN
STOP!

DR. TILLHOUSE
I don't think so. The time has come to play.

(The screams become a cacophony, blood and pieces of flesh spray from the shadows, Steve and Andy shriek and cry. Tillhouse turns the radio up and begins to conduct the massacre. In all the commotion, no one sees Dr. North timidly enter. His whole body trembles as he holds up a tiny remote. He hits the button. Wind whips around like a tornado, he whole attic seems to scream and tremble. The dead hands release Steve and Andy. They drop to the ground, their shirts shredded open, skin and muscle has been torn from their backs. They lay there crying. The dead hands grab Tillhouse. He screams and struggles but they hold tight. Then pale, sickly faces, with blood dripping sockets where their eyes should be, reach out of the shadows and begin to feast.)

DR. TILLHOUSE
NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I AM MORE THAN THIS! I WILL FIND A WAY BACK! DO YOU HEAR ME! I WILL FIND YOU!

(The dead pull him into the shadows screaming, the machine shoots off sparks, and all grows quiet. The shadows and eerie glow disappear, replaced by the strong light of the fluorescents. The radio continues playing the song. Dr. North shuts it off and looks to Steve and Andy who are still crying on the floor.)

DR. NORTH
I... took the camera's remote... just in case. Was that convincing enough?

(Blackout. Two spotlights appear, one on DETECTIVE HARDY as he dials his cell. Another on DETECTIVE WILLIAMS as his phone begins to ring.)

WILLIAMS
I'm a bit busy, Hardy. What's up?

HARDY
I thought you were on vacation, sir?

WILLIAMS
So why the fuck are you bugging me?

HARDY
Careful. You'll give yourself one of those migraines.

WILLIAMS
I have you to do that for me, Hardy. Is everything alright? Gina okay?

HARDY
Truthfully, sir, we're all a bit worried. Taking off from work, going on this strange trip, the headaches.

WILLIAMS
Things would be simpler if I had help, Hardy. You wanna take off from work and join me?


HARDY
Sir--

WILLIAMS
I didn't think so.

HARDY
Sir, I really hope this isn't about the Vail case.

WILLIAMS
Good night, Hardy. Call me if you have something to say.

HARDY
Sir, wait, I... I...

WILLIAMS
Spit it out, Hardy.

HARDY
I probably shouldn't be telling you this because... Mrs. Williams is gonna kill me... It's only going to make things worse,sir, but... but Nancy Vail woke up from her coma today and she's been asking for you.

(Blackout.)

The Vail: London Fog (Episode Two: Dead Men Walking)

I realize that I may ahve overdone it last episode. Sorry. So I'm keeping simple this time. "The Vail: London Fog" is about Andy who has the psychic ability to sense where supernatural things are occurring. He also has some zombie friends and weird stuff like that. Just read, I know you'll enjoy it.

The Vail: London Fog

by Joey Pettine

Episode Two: Dead Men Walking

(Rural community. MOTHER watches her CHILD. A MAN tips his hat to a LADY. Nice place to live. Beautiful day. One catch. The residents are dead. Undead actually. Pale skin and horrible mortal wounds. Mother undoes her scarf revealing an ear to ear gash. Puss leaks from the man's eyes. He dabs it with a hanky then exits. The lady waves to him. Her sleeve sidles down revealing t-shaped wounds on her wrist. Her smile fades to a mourned expression. She exits. The child makes a face then digs in his ear, yanks out a worm. With a mischievous smile he gobbles it down. Mother moans disgust and scoldingly leads him off. STEVEN TILLHOUSE, undead in a sharp suit, and BARBARA, also undead, enter.)

BARBARA

Are you sure your friend can help?

STEVEN

I don't know, Barbara, but if anyone can it'll be Andy. He saved the world once.

BARBARA

Don't be a smart ass.

(Enter ANDY VAIL, with a travel bag, and DR. NORTH, undead.)

STEVEN

Speak of the Devil.

DR. NORTH

Let's... not.

ANDY

Look at you all shnazzy. Who died?

STEVEN

Funny. Actually I'm the mayor.

BARBARA

Proud mayor of Rotterdam, Pennsylvania's only undead community. Steven's perfect for the job, a natural leader. When our previous mayor retired we knew who should step in.

ANDY

And who is this lovely lady?

STEVEN

Andy, I'd like you to meet my wife, Barbara Tillhouse.

ANDY

Holy crap. Mayored and married in only a month. When do you sleep?

DR. NORTH

We don't.

ANDY

Congratulations. To both of you.

STEVEN

Thank you. Especially for coming on short notice. We have nowhere else to go.

ANDY

I told you. If you ever needed my help... As for him...

STEVEN

You needn't worry bout Dr. North. He's a changed man ever since he died. Does good work. Keeps utilities running, fixes things, discovered a way for undead to get erections.

BARBARA

It's really improved our relationship.

ANDY

From destroying the world to zombie Viagra. Might be some hope for you yet.

STEVEN

Andy, we don't use the “z” word around here. Why don't you come with us, we'll talk.

(They exit. DETECTIVE WILLIAMS enters. The puss eyed man greets him.)

MAN

Can I help you sir? You look a bit lost.

WILLIAMS

What the hell is this place? Some sort of malformed albino community?

(A high pitched alarm begins to blare. Andy, Steve, Dr. North, and Barbara run on.)

WILLIAMS

Vail! What the fuck is going on?!

ANDY

You actually followed me here! You son of a bitch!

(The suicidal lady reenters.)

LADY

They're coming! They're coming for you, Barbara!

(The man and lady run off. Williams draws his gun.)

WILLIAMS

Who's coming? Who are they?

STEVEN

College students!

(The alarm cuts off.)

DR. NORTH

They... cut the... electricity.

STEVEN

They're from the local college. Seen one too many zombie flicks or played one too many games. I don't know how they found us but they've been coming every weekend.

WILlLIAMS

Been causing trouble?

(Mother enters with her dead child. Black fluid leaks from the hole in his skull.)

MOTHER

THEY SHOT MY BABY! THEY SHOT MY BABY!

(A gunshot. Black goop shoots out her skull. Three students enter: one in a COWBOY hat, one with a MACHETE, one in a WALMART shirt. They're armed.)

COWBOY

Shut it, zombitch!

WALMART

Good one, Texas.

COWBOY

Clearfield, Detroit, you take the common on the left. I'll get the right.

ANDY

Over my dead body.

COWBOY

Drop him.

WILLIAMS

I wouldn't do that if I were you, son. I'm a much better shot.

WALMART

Hey! Those two got pulses.

ANDY

Damn straight. Now mosey on outta here before we unleash living hell on your asses.

COWBOY

Cool it, survivor. We came for the witch. Then we'll go.

STEVEN

Over my living body!

DR. NORTH

Which I assure you is impossible.

COWBOY

She attacked me.

BARBARA

He tried to rape me!

WALMART

You lying little cunt! Tex isn't for necrophelia.

WILLIAMS

No, he's for shootin' little children and their mothers in the street.

BARBARA

Leave us alone. We don't bother anyone.

MACHETE

You bother us. Stinking, walking piles of rot.

WALMART

When there's no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the Earth.

ANDY

This isn't a movie, you little shit. These aren't smokers or hunters. They're people.

COWBOY

People die.

ANDY

Is that what you want? They'll give you death. Rip flesh from your bones, swarm over everything you love. You'll be alive when they eat you.

COWBOY

Bring it on. Been training for a long time.

WALMART

Gotta have a zombie plan.

WILLIAMS

Are you that dense, Vail? These morons are looking for a fight.

MACHETE

We ain't afraid of death.

DR. NORTH

What about undeath? I know what waits for people like you and me beyond this... mortal coil is bad enough. But if it isn't... enough... then I will make sure you don't stay dead. Limbless, gutless, dickless or... headless. I will bring you back. Can't make a Klansman black but we can all die.

WILLIAMS

And then I'll arrest your ass.

DR. NORTH

Eternity incarcerated.

(Everyone is silent. The kids look unsure.)

COWBOY

Sleep lightly.

(They run off.)

DR. NORTH

No problem.

ANDY

Look at that, Williams. You helped.

WILLIAMS

What kinda fucked up shit are you into, Vail?

(He exits. Barbara kisses Andy.)

STEVEN

Thank you. Now, the reason I called you here. It has to do with my brother.

(Fade to black. Low lights on the students in a dorm, loading bullets into guns.)

WALMART

We're going back tonight? That's too soon. If that cop's still there we could get arrested.

MACHETE

That's the chance we take. For the good of humanity.

COWBOY

No. If the badge is still there, we kill him. And that other faggot. No one gets out alive.

WALMART

But, Gene--

COWBOY

No names!

WALMART

T-Tex. We can't kill a human.

COWBOY

Would you let a terrorist live because he's American? This is war and we're bringing it.

(A knock at the door. Cowboy exits. A weird sound is heard. He reenters.)

MACHETE

Who was it?

(Cowboy spits blood and drops dead. Behind him is a dark man in a black London Fog trench coat, a black bowler hat hides his face. He wields a blood stained kitchen knife. Machete aims to shoot but the dark man's too fast, gliding over and slashing his throat. While Machete gurgles blood, Walmart runs. The man quickly slashes the back of his legs. Walmart drops, pleading incoherently. The man slashes his throat then cleans the blade and strolls out the room. Blackout.)

The Vail: London Fog (Episode One: Psychoactive)

It has been a while since my last post, over a month, and for those of you who read my posts you know that my last post was the "conclusion" to my thirteen part serial called "The Vail". Now, I knew I didn't want to stop writing, I knew I wanted to continue to do a weekly serial, but I did nto know that I would want to continue the Vail. And why not, good shows get to run for ever before cancelling. I figure if I have good enough ideas... and I feel that this season, we'll call it, of the Vail will be ten times better than last season. For those of you unfamiliar with the Vail, here is a short recap of what has occurred so far.

Andy Vail was a boringly normal accountant until the night his sister-in-law, and his secret love, Nancy, walked into his office and admitted to the death of her husband, Andy's brother, Mike Vail. This was only the beginning as both Andrew and Nancy were arrested and questioned in mike's death. The detective in charge, Detective Williams, could find no evidence to charge Andy but Nancy, found in a train station covered in Mike's blood, was obviously the culprit of the murderer. Excpet Andy didn't buy it. Something had happened and he was determined to figure it out and exonerate Nancy. Upon returning to the scene of the crime, Andy met a strange man named Henry who also claimed to be searching for Mike's killer. But Andy believed Henry to be the murderer and Henry was arrested. yet there was more to Henry than met the eye. Henry had an almost supernatural ability to make people believe whatever he wanted. The only person immune to this ability was Andy. Henry used this ability to convince the police that Mike Vail had died of a horrible accident and that Nancy was innocent. The case was closed and Nancy set free. Suspicious and obsessed with finding the truth, Andy and Henry decided to team up and solve the strange mystery. They learned that Mike was a member of a coalition of genius scientists with a secret agenda. Henry and Andy began to visit these scientists only to find they were being murdered, one by one, and the only clue ever left behind was a bdoy so horribly electorcuted and burned that it was barely recognizable. It was also during this investigation that Andy was attacked and injected with an unknown serum. It wasn't long before he felt his mind begin to unhinge. Things finally tooka turn for the utter worse when, on New Year's Day, a strange man named Mr. Skinner entered the home of Nancy Vail and electoructed her friend to death. Nancy, unable to handle the mental strain, slipped into a comatose state. Andy and Henry began persuing this strange man who could shoot electricity from his hands and spoke in alien tones. They caught up to him in the attic of Dr. Tillhouse, one of Mike's colleagues. They found Mr. Skinner holding Steve Tillhouse, the doctor's brother, and Alina Waitts, a young woman, hostage. The outcome looked belak yet at the last second, Steve sacrificed himself by activating a machine which opened a doorway to another dimension. Something came from that dimension, it took over the body fo Dr. Tillhouse, and horrible murdered Steve as well as the monstrous Mr. Skinner. The horror was over... at least it was supposed to be. Andy began to date Aline, united by their trauma. Then the two fo them were kidnapped by zombies one evening and awoke to find themselves in a secret laboratory, the lab of Dr. North, another genius colleague of Mike Vail. It was here that they learned the truth. The scientists had found a secret book of mystical power and begun to perform experiments with it, mixing modern science with old world magic. Dureing one such experiemnt they accidentally released a creature which killed and possessed the body of MIke Vail. Then it went after the rest fo the scientists. Dr. North was the only one left and he believed the monster was still out there, that it had moved to a new body. He believed it was Henry and convinced Andy that he was the only one who could stop the final horror. If Andy was too succeed, Dr. North would do what he does best and bring Mike Vail back to life. He then proved his power as a scientists by bringing Steve back to life. So Andy began to track down Henry again, allies now become enemies. In the process Andy learned that he also was not too normal anymore. It seemed that the serum he was injected with had made him stronger, faster, and even a little bit psychic. he found Henry in no time and was about to kill him when Henry finally told him the truth. Dr. North had lied. Henry was in fact a human from the far future sent back in time to save humanity. Unfortunately, to save the future of mankind, Henry had to possess Nancy Vail and use her body to kill the bug like creature which had possessed Mike Vail. Unfortunately the bug creature had escaped and that was why Henry had enlisted Andy to help him stop it. After telling Andy the utter truth, Andy realized the error of his ways and vowed to help henry save the future. That is when Alina Vail showed her true colors. It turned out that Alina was in fact a powerful alchemist, hundreds of years old, who had been avoiding death by possessing the bodies of her children over and over again. She was also in cahoots with Dr. North and both fo them were working with the Insect, the creature that had originally possessed Mike. In the end, Andy, Henry, and undead Stever teamed up, using their skills to defeat the evil. Alina Waitts was murdered and made into a mindless zombie. Dr. North was also killed but returned from the dead as himself albeit he had seen something horrible that even he could not admit. And Andy Vail found the Insect still possessing the body of his brother Mike. So Andy did what he had to do and he murdered his brother to kill the Insect inside him and save the future. But the advanture was not over yet. Andy had been changed, the serum had turned him into something more than human, and he could not ignore the things that went bump in the night. So Andy knew he would become the Vail. Finally, Andy decided to see Henry off now that Henry's work was done. But Henry had one more confession. It turned out that since Henry was a time traveller he had not yet gone back int ime and possessed Nancy to kill Mike the first time. Andy, realizing he might be able to save Nancy from a comatose life, forced Henry to promise him that eh would travel back in time and posses Andy and force Andy to kill his brother the first time. Henry tried to warn him that this could have terrible effects on Andy's mind but Andy made him promise him anyway. Thus Henry traveled back in time and forced Andy to kill his brother. When we last left Andy, he was dealing with the effect of having to murder his brother.
If this recap was too confusing for you. Too bad. Go read the first arc of the Vail. And if you just don't care about the last arc then scroll down and begin reading "The Vail: London Fog".

The Vail: London Fog
By Joey Pettine

Episode One: Psychoactive

(Four youngsters, ROGER, PARKER, REED, and LEE, sit around an ornate hookah. “Inna Gadda Da Vida” plays in the background as multicolored lights dance across the their faces. Reed and Lee share the hookah, though Lee doesn’t seem as into it as Reed, while Parker rubs his hands slowly, staring at them with wide eyes. Roger nervously watches them, awkwardly refusing the hookah when it is offered to him.)

PARKER
My hands are so soft. Like felt or velvet. Felvet. I think I got a contact high. My skin is so tight.

ROGER
It’s okay. Don’t scratch it off.

LEE
At least that would be interesting.

ROGER
It’s not funny, Lee.

REED
It kinda is. There isn’t even any shit in here.

LEE
This is tobacco, you dope.

PARKER
Oh.

LEE
I can’t take another minute with these losers, Reed.

REED
Just chill, man. Trip is on his way.

(A knock at the door.)

LEE
Thank Gawd!

(Reed gets up and runs off stage for a moment.)

PARKER
So you guys get high a lot?

(Reed returns with XAVIER.)

XAVIER
Who’s ready to get fucked up?

LEE
You have no idea.

PARKER
This freakin rocks!

XAVIER
Who are these bitches, ReeRee?

REED
This is Parker, Lee, and Roger. Guys, I introduce you to the legendary Triple Xavier.

ROGER
I don’t think we should be doing this.

REED
Don’t be that guy, Roger.

ROGER
I will be that guy. Somebody has to be that guy.

XAVIER
Is he for real?

LEE
Yes. Now hook me up.

XAVIER
Patience, son. You don’t wanna fuck with this shit.

LEE
Dude, I’ve done weed before. I’ve got more grass in me than a fucking cow.

PARKER
Me too, man. I’m luck a dirty lawnmower.



XAVIER
That shit ain’t got shit on this shit. This is straight up, hundred percent, high Q, Coyote.

ROGER
Coyote? That stuff can make you insane like ten years after you take it.

XAVIER
It’s that good. Picked it up from this new runner, Coach Metal.

ROGER
Coach Metal?

(Xavier loads the reddish moss into the hookah, lights it, and takes a hit. Then Reed. Lee takes more time, drawing in a long hit. He passes to Roger who stares at it.)

ROGER
I’m not doing this. This is wrong.

(Lee makes a face and blows smoke into Roger’s face. Roger coughs. Lee smirks then passes to Parker who eagerly grabs it, slobbering over the tip.)

ROGER
What did you do that for?

LEE
You just got smoked, bitch.

REED
Not cool, Lee.

XAVIER
Yeah. If he wants to be a bitch you gotta let him be a bitch.

ROGER
I don’t have to take this.

(Roger tries to get up but his legs are all wobbly.)

REED
Roger, sit down.

PARKER
You guys hear that music?

XAVIER
I wouldn’t try going anywhere, Rogo, and I’m a lot stronger than you.
PARKER
That dark dude doesn’t look too happy.

XAVIER
Man, you’re seeing shit already.

LEE
He’s fakin’ it.

PARKER
Behind Roger.

ROGER
That’s not funny.

PARKER
It’s not his birthday but he wants his gifts anyway.

REED
We should be writing this stuff down.

(Suddenly Roger arches his back, blood sprays out his mouth. His shrieks babble through blood. He convulses violently then stops, his body a twisted mess on the floor.)

XAVIER
What the—

(The same thing happens to Lee. He knocks over the hookah in his convulsing.)

REED
Xavier, what the fuck?

PARKER
Watch out, Triple Equis.

(Xavier does the same, garbling curses as he convulses. Dots of blood decorate Reed’s face. Parker sways with the music.)

PARKER
I love this song.

REED
Park…. Parker… Where--

(Reed’s is the worst of all as he convulses and sprays blood. Parker laughs.)

PARKER
Oh, Coach Metal.

(It happens to Parker except he laughs instead of screams. The psychedelic lights fade. A spot appears on ANDY VAIL in a chair, patiently reading. A NURSE wheels NANCY VAIL out then leaves.)

ANDY
I don’t know if you can hear me but the doctors say it can’t hurt. The insurance on your house came. So when… If you snap out of it you’ve got money. This is gonna be my last visit though. Things are starting to get hairy and it’s bad enough Detective Williams knows about you. He’s taken to following me, making my nightly activities a lot more difficult. And man is he an asshole. But he’s good. Knows I killed Mike. At least he thinks he knows. Good thing everyone thinks he’s crazy. Can thank Henry for that. Speaking of which, guess who paid me a visit? Henry. I mean Mischa, the guy Henry was possessing. He sorta remembered me. Needed answers. So I lied. Told him I’d never seen him before and slammed the door in his face. I know what this life does to people. I’m getting weaker. Not sickly but the strength and speed are gone. And I’ve been having nightmares. Things that scare even me. But I can’t stop. I can’t just be an accountant. I know what’s out there. Like that old lady over there, actually a sewer troll. Don’t know how I know I just do. Plus her shoes are covered in shit. I can’t ignore these things. I’m helping people. Last week I hear this baby cry and I know, I just know, something’s wrong. So I grab a can of spinach, wait till late, and break into the house. These people were loaded, nice kitchen, no problem finding a can opener. I go look in on the baby and it’s glaring at me. So I glare back and at this point I know it knows and it knows I know and we both know exactly what’s going on. It starts crying so I shove a handful of spinach into its mouth. Bit me, hard, but the spinach is already doing its work. The warts come back, the eyes go yellow, doesn’t even look like a baby anymore. But it’s still biting me. I get mad and bite it. We’re wrestling across the nursery, breaking toys and the light clicks on and the mom is standing there. And that breaks the spell. Changeling disappears, real baby reappears in the crib, and I make my escape. And by escape I mean throwing spinach into Mom’s eyes and running away. Hell of a night. But I saved a kid. That family is alright because of me. I can’t give that up. If you do wake up, leave me alone.

(The stage fades to black as he exits then all lights come up on a small warehouse. Stacks of crates litter the stage. Andy and DETECTIVE WILLIAMS enter, held at gunpoint by two THUGS. The thugs always speak simultaneously.)

ANDY
I really fucking hate you.

WILLIAMS
What the fuck were you doing breaking into a warehouse?


ANDY
Trying not to get caught by the drug dealers. It was going well until someone screamed Gotcha Sucka!

WILLIAMS
How the fuck was I supposed to know?

ANDY
Basic police work. Your men should have taken care of this already. Instead you spend all your time obsessing over my brother’s murder.

WILLIAMS
You confess! He was murdered!

ANDY
Of course he was murdered and he deserved it but who the fuck is gonna believe you!

THUGS
Shut up!

(Williams makes a horrible sound and grabs his head.)

ANDY
Migraines getting worse? Maybe it’s the stress.

WILLIAMS
Shut up, Vail. I don’t chat with criminals.

ANDY
It ain’t a crime until you get caught.

COACH METAL
I couldn’t agree with you more.

(Enter COACH METAL.)

COACH METAL
So this is the infamous Vail. Bit of an honor to greet the man who’s been rattling so many cages these days. Met a blind vampire the other day who swore revenge against you.

ANDY
Killed him last night. How do you think I found this place?

WILLIAMS
What the fuck are you talking about?

COACH METAL
What’s with the dick? Not much for backup.

ANDY
He ain’t with me.

WILLIAMS
I’m with the Philadelphia Police Department and you’re all under arrest for… possession… of drugs.

COACH METAL
I don’t know. Wasn’t much gusto behind that. What do you think, boys?

(They both give a thumbs down.)

ANDY
He probably wandered in here looking for donuts.

WILLIAMS
Shut up, Vail. I’ll handle this.

ANDY
You can’t even handle your own dick. Your wife might if you were home once in a while.

WILLIAMS
You don’t know shit.

ANDY
I know you’re one pathetic excuse for a cop. Did you even bring your partner with you?

WILLIAMS
He’s listening to every word.

ANDY
Right, cause you had the foresight to bug this place.

WILLIAMS
Shut the fuck up!

ANDY
I wonder how many murderers have walked away right under your fat cock sucking nose!

(Williams swings, Andy dodges it then delivers his own blow. The punch connects squarely with Wiliams’ nose. Then he hits Williams with a sturdy right hook, dazing him further, only to follow it up by grabbing Williams and forcefully swinging his entire body into the thugs. The three men fall to the ground, scrambling over one another.)

COACH METAL
Hey!

(Andy runs to Williams and pulls him to his feet, shoving him toward the exit.)

ANDY
Run! Get out of here!

(Williams doesn’t need to be told twice. Andy turns back to the criminals. The two thugs have more than enough time to stumble to their feet and grab the guns.)

THUGS
Don’t move!

ANDY
Impressive crew you got here.

COACH METAL
These morons. They’re worse than the spics I dealt with six hundred years ago.

(He makes a dramatic fist and the two thugs drop the guns, clutching their faces. When they remove their hands their faces are a screaming mess of blood and pain. They fall to the ground and die.)

COACH METAL
Why didn’t you run?

ANDY
Cause I came here for you? Gotta ask though, before I finish you, what kind of name is Coach Metal.

COACH METAL
It’s not Coach Metal. It’s Cochimetl, God of blood and sacrifice. Who made the Earth tremble and drank the blood of the Aztec virgins. Worshipped for centuries. Reigning with a blood stained fist.

(He squeezes his fist again and this time Andy grabs his eyes. Droplets of blood leak from his tear ducts.)

ANDY
Until Christianity came around. And Hinduism, the Greek Gods, the Romans, the Norse, and eventually TV and the Internet. You’re the old wife. Sides, most of the world’s atheist these days?
COACH METAL
Lies. The world is the same as it ever was. People hurt, kill, sacrifice one another to get what they desire. All in the name of their new gods. Their money, their cellular phones, their drugs.

ANDY
Jealous?

COACH METAL
Millions sacrifice themselves to cigarettes, alcohol, cocaine, heroin every day and all for nothing. With me, they die for something. They die for me.

(He squeezes his fist. Andy falls to his knees and vomits blood. He dabs his eyes.)

ANDY
You might wanna watch it? Crying blood is a Christian thing.

(Another squeeze and more blood. Coach pulls out a syringe and smiles.)

COACH METAL
You need to see the light. How bout a shot of Coyote? Everybody’s doing it.

ANDY
I wouldn’t do that if I were you. I’m an angry drunk.

(He is injected. Smoke immediately begins to fog the stage. It shrouds everything. Coach stands amidst all of it, laughing. A dark figure emerges. His face is shrouded but he wears a black London Fog trench coat and bowler hat. He approaches Coach from behind and, with a sharp razor, slashes his throat. An excess of blood pours from the wound, more than is natural, and drenches Andy. Coach falls to the ground dead. The dark figure is already gone. Andy stands, swaying in an unsteady fashion. He sees a figure in the smoke. It approaches him. It’s Nancy.)

ANDY
Nan? Is that you?

(She pummels him with relentless blows. He is knocked to the ground, trying to block against her but she is too much. Finally, once he is bloody and broken, she kneels down and whispers in his ear.)

NANCY
I’m coming for you.

(She stands and walks back into the smoke whistling “Innocent When You Dream” as she goes. The smoke builds thicker and thicker until the stage is black with it and then the lights change. An orange glow flickers offstage right and the smoke dissipates until there is only the vaguest whisper of it. Williams is kneeling over Andy patting him awake. The light stuff doesn’t work so he slaps Andy. Andy wakes, hacking.)

WILLIAMS
Take it easy, Vail. You inhaled a lot of smoke.

ANDY
I got beat up by a girl.

WILLIAMS
Are you high?

ANDY
He used peer pressure on me. What happened?

WILLIAMS
I was about to ask you. I came back and the whole place was in blazes.

ANDY
How did I get out here?

WILLIAMS
I’m gonna use my keen detection skills to say you walked. What about the other guy?

ANDY
I don’t think he got away. How’s your nose.

WILLIAMS
Hurt and perhaps broken. That was pretty clever what you did.

ANDY
In my experience, the bad guys get all stupid when the good guys start fighting each other.

WILIAMS
It was a good move. Probably saved my life. Enjoy it while you can. Cause I will figure out what the fuck is going on with you. And then you’re mine.

(Andy nods and closes his eyes. Williams stares at the fire. Fade to black.)