I don't really feel like giving you a recap but I'll give you this. Andy Vail got superpowers when his life went down the drain. Then he grew a multiple personality called the Ripper who had an affinity for trench coats and being an antihero. Now they share a body. There's also Doctor Randolf who was lost in another dimension but came back to stop some evil thing. There's a mute vampire called Cordeaux. Detective Williams was dying of cancer but recently allowed himself to be turned into an uber vampire to save his life. And Cain, yes, the Cain, is actually the father of all vampires named Blood who, for some reason, has taken over England and seems to be trying to destroy the world. I think that's enough to get buy on this story.
I hope you guys enjoy it. And I would like to assure you that this is not the last Vail ever. But this is the last one for a while. I might post a new series I've been thinking on but maybe not. This really might be it for a heck of a while. So if you aren't caught up on the Vail this is your chance. Start from the beginning. Read them all. Enjoy. I'm gonna not go think about London or monsters for a while. That's a lie, actually. Cause I'll probably go watch Doctor Who.
On a side note, I apologize to England for everything I did to it. Though this was a fun excuse to get to know London a bit better.
The Vail: London Fog
by Joey Pettine
Episode Sixteen: We Will Fight
(The Royal Albert Hall, little camps have been set up on stage, refugees of London living in the barricaded theater. ED, a pale man with a horribly exsanguinated body, sitting in a pile of rags, a blanket wrapped round his body, staring sadly at the floor. TINA TIMM, a young girl in raggedy clothing, traipses up to him, bouncing a little rubber ball.)
TINA
Merry Christmas, Mister Edward.
ED
Fuck off.
TINA
You shouldn't say such naughties on Christmas Eve. Santa won't bring you any goodies.
ED
It's not Christmas Eve and Santa's not real.
TINA
Of course he is. If vampires can be real, then Santa must be.
(Ed looks at her, worried.)
TINA
Don't worry, Mister Edward. I won't tell no one. You're a goody bloodsucker. You keep the rats out of our beds and never bite nobody.
ED
Keep it down, kid. You're gonna get me staked.
TINA
How come people don't like vampires anymore, Mister Edward?
ED
Because we eat annoying little girls.
TINA
Not you. You look awfully hungry. You could eat Mister Cringles if you want. He's getting old anyway.
ED
Really? Which one's he again?
(BOB TIMM, Tina's dad, enters.)
BOB
Tina, come eat your dinner and leave that man alone.
ED
Kid--
TINA
Tina. My name's Tina Timm.
ED
Shut the fuck up. If you tell anybody about me I will rip your throat out while you sleep. Got it?!
(She giggles then leans in close to whisper.)
TINA
I'm good at secret keeping. You'll see. I'll come back with Mister Cringles when I can sneak away.
BOB
Tina!
TINA
Merry Christmas, Mister Edward.
(She runs off to her father.)
ED
It's not Christmas!
BOB
What was that all about?
TINA
I wished Mister Edward a Happy Christmas but he said I was wrong. Isn't it Christmas, Daddy?
BOB
Sure, sweetheart. It can be Christmas as long as you want it to be.
TINA
Daddy, are you putting me on?
(DETECTIVE WILLIAMS enters, burly, his fangs hung over his lips.)
WILLIAMS
We need to talk.
BOB
Tina, go eat.
TINA
He's a mean vampire, Daddy.
WILLIAMS
Listen to your father, little girl.
TINA
Bugger yourself.
(Williams growls. Bob stands in front of her.)
BOB
Tina. Go. Now!
(She scampers off.)
BOB
What is it now?
WILLIAMS
One of your men killed one of mine.
BOB
I wouldn't call what you work with men.
WILLIAMS
We have a deal. I keep them away, you keep a low profile.
BOB
And how long does this go on for? Three more months? Years?
WILLIAMS
It never ends. The world's gone to Hell. Get used to it.
BOB
Be thankful I'm alive, that it?
WILLIAMS
Be thankful you can still die.
BOB
Is there anything else? You make my people nervous coming here.
WILLIAMS
I'm the only reason your people are alive.
BOB
Doesn't mean you're not a monster.
(Williams looks a bit guilty at that.)
WILLIAMS
Merry Christmas.
BOB
It's not Christmas.
(Williams leaves. DETECTIVE HARDY enters, tired and grizzled.)
HARDY
He suspect anything?
BOB
He isn't stupid. He won't keep us a secret much longer.
HARDY
Yes, he will.
BOB
That thing is a monster.
HARDY
Only part of him.
(The lights flicker and fade, as if an electrical problem. The sound of wind blowing, harsh snow. Candlelight begins to flicker, illuminating a tiny shack. Off to the side, in a bed, wrapped in blankets, RIPPER/ANDY, two minds trapped in one body, sleeps. Bustling about the room, stoking a fire, a woman in tattered red fabric with flowing red hair enshrouded under her raggedy red hood, THE LADY. When she speaks it is with a heavy welsh accent. A knock at the door.)
LADY
Come in child.
(Tina enters, snowflakes tumbling out her hair.)
LADY
Sit by the fire. The snow won't be letting up any soon.
TINA
I snuck some biscuits off for you. I could only eat one. They're heavy as stones.
LADY
Thank you, child.
TINA
I'd wish you a Merry Christmas but I don't know it is. I think Daddy's tugging on my toes.
LADY
Wish me one still. It isn't the timing but the sentiment behind which matters. If you so desire, it could be Christmas all year round.
TINA
Probably not. I get irate when they put up decorations before Bonfire Night. Merry Christmas, miss.
(Andy/Ripper stirs and groans.)
TINA
You think he'll ever wake. Should someone kiss him. Like in fairy tales.
LADY
Are you offering?
TINA
Might turn him into a frog.
(Andy/Ripper lets out a small shriek. The Lady moves beside him, making him comfortable.)
TINA
Is he okay?
LADY
None can say what takes place within the mind of a man. But I tell you this, child. Things have been set into motion. Solstice or not, great things shall be born tonight.
TINA
Because those man's dreams?
LADY
Wouldn't be the first time the world has been changed by the dreams of a man.
TINA
I wonder what he dreams about.
LADY
I imagine great things.
(The lights go down on all but Andy. He sits up and stares into the surrounding darkness.)
ANDY
Son of a bitch! We're still here!
(The Ripper steps into the sole light wearing his black London Fog trench coat and bowler hat, his face shrouded in darkness.)
RIPPER
Keep it down. Some of us are trying to... I don't know. Sleep doesn't exist so I don't know what the fuck I was doing. What were you doing?
ANDY
Wishing I was out of here, No Face.
RIPPER
I will cut your fucking throat!
ANDY
You already did, remember?
RIPPER
Yeah. You came back from the dead but you can't figure a way out of this... I don't know! Is it a room? Purgatory? Badly lit bowling alley!?
ANDY
That's what you wonder? Not where your face went?
RIPPER
I know where my face is. If I could rip it off those weak cheekbones of yours.
ANDY
I still maintain we're here because of you.
RIPPER
My mind wasn't trapped in the bowling alley from Hell until you came back.
ANDY
My sister in law wasn't DEAD AND INVADING OUR MINDS until you KILLED HER!!
(A horrifying damned screech, the light flickers, Andy and Ripper move closer to each other.)
RIPPER
You had to remind her!
ANDY
Yeah, cause she forgot!
(Out of the dark comes NANCY VAIL, a vengeful wraith, her soul twisted and hateful. Ripper screams and rushes her. She grapples his throat and lifts him off his feet, still kicking. Then she plunges her hand into his coat, Ripper screams and writhes, she removes his heart and shoves it down her throat, tossing Ripper next to Andy.)
ANDY
You know that never works.
RIPPER
One day I'll catch the bitch off guard. I'm getting really sick of being eaten alive.
ANDY
Me too, No Face. Me too.
(Nancy screams and the dark engulfs the stage, Ripper and Andy shriek in pain. The screams continue and morph to less discernible howls of pain. They continue as the lights come up on a room in the Tower of London. A strange machine sits center stage, wires hanging out. BLOOD stands, waiting. The screams cease and a door creaks open. DR. RANDOLF is lugged into the room by a large man, his skin discolored and rotting, his limbs held together by sutures and metal rods, GARY. He tosses Randolf at Blood's feet.)
GARY
Finished with the daily motivational, my Lord. Call me if any more inspiration is required.
(Gary exits. Blood looks and the weary and beaten Randolf.)
BLOOD
Return to work. The Master grows impatient.
RANDOLF
That's it? Haven't threatened to devour my eyeballs for a week now. Think you're getting as tired of the routine as I.
BLOOD
Return to work or your torment will be endless.
(Randolf pulls himself to his feet and goes to the machine. Blood stares off, like he's thinking.)
RANDOLF
Not what you hoped for is it? Whatever your master promised, this isn't what you expected.
BLOOD
Don't deign to know my mind.
(Williams storms in.)
BLOOD
What have you learned, my child.
WILLIAMS
Stop calling me that.
BLOOD
I tolerate your insolence because your skills of detection are unsurpassed. Have you located the mortals?
WILLIAMS
I found nothing. There are no people left in London. Only your monsters.
BLOOD
You are certain? I hear whisperings humans in the streets.
WILLIAMS
There ain't no people left.
BLOOD
What of the Vail? The Master requires assurance of his death.
WILLIAMS
If he was alive I would have found him?
BLOOD
The Master is not so sure. He believes you have lost your bloodlust.
WILLIAMS
Andy Vail is the reason I'm dead. He made me a monster. If he's out there, I will find him and kill him.
BLOOD
Return to the streets and search for the humans. The golem will assist you.
WILLIAMS
I don't need help!
BLOOD
If there is blood to be spilt the golem will not hesitate.
WILLIAMS
I'm not enough of a monster for you?
BLOOD
That has yet to be decided.
(Williams exits. Blood bows his head.)
RANDOLF
You brought all of this upon yourself. Every action you made since the beginning has lead to your damnation here.
(Blood moves with brilliant speed, gripping him by the face.)
BLOOD
You know nothing of the beginning. Nothing of true damnation. This cold Hell is a child's nightmare besides the revelation that is coming. Yet your suffering begins here and now.
(He carries Randolf off stage. As the lights fade, the screams begin again. They die as the lights come up on Albert Hall. Ed sits in his pile of rags, staring hungrily at his own wrist, licking his lips. He bares his fangs, about to bite, when Tina scurries in.)
TINA
Merry Christmas again, Mister Edward. Can be Christmas every day if I have sentiment.
(Ed lowers his head, weeping a little.)
TINA
I brought you a present. Mister Cringles is in for a good biting, isn't he?
(Ed looks hopeful, as if this girl is his savior.)
ED
Really? Where is he? Bring him in. In, in.
TINA
I already did silly.
(She shoves forth a dusty old doll.)
TINA
Mister Cringles was my Mummy's dolly. He's so old he won't mind if you take a nip.
(The hope drains from Ed's face, he trembles. Then he sneers. He springs forth and grabs Tina, for once she looks scared.)
ED
You annoying little blood tease! I'm gonna drain you like a box of Hi-C and leave you under your Mummy's blanket for a Christmas present!
TINA
But you said it wasn't Christmas.
ED
I dunno. Santa dropped you into my lap. Merry Christmas, you tiny bitch.
(An ear piercing scream breaks the silence. Suddenly the Hall is filled with a cacophany of screams and panic. Families begin to run across the stage, dragging their children along. GHOULS chase after them, grappling some to the ground and digging into their flesh. Tina uses the distraction to poke Ed in the eyes. He drops her and she runs. He hurries after her, far too hungry. Bob runs on, scared.)
BOB
TINA!! TINA!!
(A ghoul attacks from behind. There is a shot and it drops dead. Hardy runs in.)
HARDY
What's going on!?
BOB
You were wrong! You were so fucking wrong!
HARDY
He came back? But we need more time! We haven't found Andy Vail yet!
BOB
Who the fuck is this Vail?!
HARDY
He's the reason for all this.
BOB
Then I can't wait to kill him.
(Another scream and a strange splattering sound. Bob and Hardy run off. Williams and Gary lumber on, ghouls and victims screaming around them.)
GARY
How did you miss this nest? Losing your touch. Or maybe they touched you, vampy wampy.
(Williams plucks out Gary's eye.)
GARY
That was my eye, asshole!
WILLIAMS
I hate your voice! How does a six foot pile of dead flesh talk so much anyway!
GARY
Fuck you! Inelegant golems are a hurtful stereotype perpetuated by that bitch Mary Shelly and asshole Karloff. DeNiro was the only realistic portrayal.
WILLIAMS
Shut up and do your job.
(Williams bites into the eyeball, eating it like an hors d'eouvres. A ghoul drags over a screaming woman. Gary approaches her.)
GARY
The job you don't have the guts do you.
(He reaches into the woman's shirt, blood spray from her mouth as he hauls out her intestines, tossing the pile at Williams' feet.)
GARY
Here's some extra. I'm gonna go rip the arms off that kid over there.
(Williams cannot look as the sounds of a child's screams echo across the stage. The lights fade, replaced by the sweet flicker of candlelight. Snow, blowing wind. The lady in red throws another log in the fire, wipes Andy/Ripper's brow, then takes her seat. Her door slams open and Tina runs in, jumping into her arms, crying.)
LADY
What's wrong child?
TINA
They're all dead! Oh, please, no, they're all dead!
(Ed bursts in, raving hungry. The lady stands, shielding Tina.)
ED
Gimme the fucking girl!
LADY
Leave this child alone. Leave this place!!
ED
Fuck it. I'll eat you both.
(Something hits Ed in the back of the head. He stumbles forward and Hardy enters, placing the gun barrel to Ed's head.)
HARDY
Vampire or not, I wonder how well you'd function with half your brain on the floor.
(Ed breaks down and begins to weep. Bob enters.)
BOB
What is this place?
LADY
My home.
HARDY
I followed the footprints in the snow.
TINA
Daddy!
(Tina runs to her father, he embraces her, she weeps into his shoulder.)
TINA
I thought you were dead!
BOB
Never, sweety. Never.
HARDY
Is that a wise promise to make?
ED
Just shoot me. Give me a fucking bullet lobotomy. If I have to spend one more minute around that goddamn little girl without killing her.
LADY
Quiet. You're all here for a reason. Tonight is the night. England the Brave.
HARDY
Scotland. It's Scotland the Brave.
LADY
No. Tonight it is we who must be brave.
TINA
The sleeping man! He's gonna wake up!
HARDY
Jesus Christ.
ED
I really hope not.
HARDY
That's Andy Vail.
BOB
What? Really?
TINA
It's a Christmas miracle.
ED
Why is this happening to me? I'm a good vampire. All I ever wanted was to dress up in glitter and feed off of underage girls.
(The lady moves past them and shuts the door.)
LADY
Choose your seat, gentlemen. It won't be long now. Andy Vail simply needs to wake.
(The lights go out on everyone except Andy again. He sits up and then the Ripper walks back on stage.)
RIPPER
I wish we had cards.
ANDY
Cause an eternity of Go Fish would be better?
RIPPER
Go Fish? How bout some Hold Em. You girl.
(Tina enters, bemused.)
ANDY
Speaking of girls.
TINA
Hello? It's dark here. Merry Christmas. Anyone there?
RIPPER
Christmas?
ANDY
Crap. We've been here awhile.
RIPPER
Hey! Girl! Where the fuck did you come from?
TINA
You should watch your language, sir. It' a holiday.
(He strolls over to her, towering over her. She looks where his face should be.)
TINA
Why are you crying?
(Ripper stumbles away from her, surprised, maybe scared.)
ANDY
You can see his face? He has a face?
TINA
I hate to bug you on Christmas, sir, but you need to wake up. Things are very bad and if you don't my Daddy might die.
ANDY
I'm asleep?
RIPPER
Have we been ASLEEP for the past THREE MONTHS!!?
ANDY
Little girl--
TINA
Tina. My name is Tina Timm.
ANDY
Hello, Tina.
TINA
Hello, Mister Vail.
ANDY
Tina, how did you get here?
TINA
I wished.
RIPPER
I wish I was awake and Andy Vail was dead.
(They both look at him. A pause.)
RIPPER
There's no place like home and death to my enemies.
(He clicks his heels three times. They continue to stare at him.)
RIPPER
I would kill you both if I could.
TINA
It wasn't that sort of wish. It was a Christmas wish. I was really scared and crying and sleepy. So I prayed to Santa.
ANDY
And he sent you here?
RIPPER
Santa's real?
ANDY
I guess so.
TINA
You have to wake up, sir. England needs you.
RIPPER
Oh, blow me. Everyone always needs Andrew Vail. Whole fucking universe zeroes in on Andrew Vail. I literally gave birth to myself and people are more impressed by Pop Rocks.
TINA
Excuse me, sir. But who are you?
RIPPER
See! Do you see!
ANDY
This is Ripper. He's my... brother.
RIPPER
I am his nemesis. I am the darkness within his soul. I am the malign shadow which creeps through the eerie London Fog. I am pretty fucking dark. And I get shit done.
ANDY
He's my brother... and he's full of shit.
RIPPER
Eat shit and die.
ANDY
I'm sick of dieing.
RIPPER
How do you know you only tried once.
ANDY
Maybe you should have a go.
TINA
Both of you stop! There's no time for fighting. People are dieing.
RIPPER
Who the hell are you to come in here and tell us what to do?
ANDY
She's the only living soul we've seen in months. Maybe it is a Christmas miracle.
RIPPER
What a load of Christmas balls!
TINA
No wonder you guys got a time out. You argue worse than my grans.
RIPPER
I really hope the universe doesn't have a system of cosmic time outs.
ANDY
Who knows? Two minds fighting over one body. What better way to make us share?
RIPPER
I ain't sharing shit!
TINA
You have to. Or else all is lost. Now wake up!
RIPPER
Don't you think we've been trying?
ANDY
We can't.
TINA
Why not?
(The scream of the damned, the lights flicker. Ripper moves closer to Andy and Tina, as if scared.)
RIPPER
She heard us.
ANDY
This is why we can't wake up.
(Nancy enters, grimacing and angry.)
TINA
What is she?
ANDY
If we're asleep I guess she's a memory. Or a dream.
RIPPER
That's not how I remember Nancy.
TINA
What's wrong with her?
ANDY
She died.
RIPPER
I killed her. Let's not sugarcoat it.
TINA
I thought you guys were heroes.
RIPPER
Depends on your definition of hero.
TINA
Heroes don't kill people.
RIPPER
Then we're not heroes.
ANDY
Get out of here if you can.
TINA
I'm not waking up until you do.
RIPPER
If you have any ideas on how to stop her.
TINA
Have you apologized?
RIPPER
What?
TINA
Have you apologized for killing her?
ANDY
I don't think it works that way.
TINA
Why not? She looks angry. Just say you're sorry.
ANDY
But I have. I've apologized for all the things that happened to her.
RIPPER
And I'm really sorry I had to kill her.
TINA
But did you apologize for yourself. Try.
RIPPER
You try. See how you like having your kneecaps used for serving bowls.
ANDY
Screw it. What can I lose?
(Andy steps forward. Nancy moves closer to him, sniffing, drooling.)
ANDY
Nancy, you know I loved you. I'm sorry Ripper killed you.
(She swipes him, scratching his cheek.)
RIPPER
She ain't buying it!
TINA
You have to apologize for yourself! Don't say your sorry if you aren't!
(Andy composes himself and stands his ground, Nancy is closer, licking her lips.)
ANDY
I'm sorry that I didn't love you enough, Nancy. I told myself I did but I never came for you, I never fought for you. All those years with my brother, I could have come for you. And I guess I'm sorry I didn't love you enough.
(She pulls back a little, seeming to change, intelligence in here eyes.)
ANDY
I'm sorry you're dead but I'm more sorry you're like this. I may not have killed you but I didn't save you either.
RIPPER
Don't be such a damned martyr.
ANDY
I'm sorry I was a whiny asshole. I spent so much time feeling bad about... about having superpowers and saving the world while you were in a fucking coma!
(Nancy stands up straight, looking confused, thinking.)
TINA
Now you're turn.
RIPPER
Screw you.
TINA
It's okay if you're scared.
RIPPER
Screw you twice. I ain't scared of shit.
TINA
It takes the bravest men to apologize.
(Ripper steps forward beside Andy.)
RIPPER
I'm sorry I killed you. But I tried to make it painless. And what was I supposed to do! Let you kille me instead! Would that have been better?!
(She sneers.)
RIPPER
I'm sorry! Sorry. I may not be the best of men but I thought I was doing the right thing. So, I guess I'm sorry for being... prideful. Is that the word?
(She hisses.)
RIPPER
What?! What do you want me to say?!
(Andy holds Ripper's hand.)
RIPPER
I'm sorry that you weren't the Nancy I remember. That's what I really wanted. Andy may not have had you but he got a kiss once. He got to spend time with you and talk about books. He got to try to be the hero. I didn't get any of that shit. I didn't get the life. All I get is a coat and a goddamn hat. I'm sorry I didn't get to be a real man for you.
(She looks sad, staring at them both with soft eyes. Then she turns and walks away, into the dark. Ripper looks at Andy.)
RIPPER
You fag.
(He shakes his hand off. They both look back to Tina.)
ANDY
I think it worked.
(Pale hands come out of the dark and grab Tina, hauling her off.)
TINA
WAKE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!
(Ripper and Andy look at each other.)
RIPPER
Let's do this.
(Ripper removes his coat and hat and tosses them to Andy. In the process his shadow fades into the dark. Andy lays down, pauses for a second. He stares at his right hand.)
ANDY
Crap. I forgot we only have one hand.
(He lays down and drapes the blanket over himself, covering his head. The candlelight flicker returns, lighting the little shack. Bob stumbles in, blood staining his torso, a knife in hand. The shack has been ransacked, no one else in sight. Andy/Ripper sits up, throwing the blanket off them. Ripper speaks with a gruff voice, stern face. Andy a higher voice, soft eyes. They sit up and look at the bandaged stump where a right hand used to be.)
ANDY
Damned to hell.
BOB
You son of a bitch.
RIPPER
What happened?
BOB
They found us. It was the vampire. The old woman hid you beneath the covers.
RIPPER
What old lady?!
(Bob grabs Ripper/Andy.)
BOB
They took my daughter. I stayed behind you because you're supposed to be important. If my daughter dies, I will haunt your dreams for eternity.
RIPPER
Been there, done that.
ANDY
We'll get her back.
(Bob dies. They grab the knife from his dead hands.)
RIPPER
You call this a knife.
ANDY
There's tracks in the snow. We can follow.
RIPPER
Not yet. We don't have what it takes to go against Blood or whatever else he's got.
ANDY
We don't have time for a montage. It's already been three months.
RIPPER
Don't worry. I know where I'm going.
(They run out. Blackout. A spark, electricity. Then more, arcs and sparking wires. It's Randolf, working on the machine. His face is blank, no hope, only intelligence. He stops a moment. Staring toward the ground. Blood enters and Randolf makes himself busy.)
BLOOD
The Master has begun to question your work ethic.
RANDOLF
More torture then.
BLOOD
He believes the inquisitions are taxing you.
RANDOLF
How quickly does he expect me to finish. It's been three months. I'm supposed to tear an opening into the space beyond realities. This isn't a three month ordeal.
BLOOD
Nonetheless. The Master believes you are stalling. I believe this shall motivate you.
(Gary enters carrying Tina, squirming in his rotting arms. The Lady strolls in after him, her wrists bound, led along by a rope, her head bowed. Williams after them, looking anywhere except the little girl.)
GARY
This little piglet's been squirming the whole way here. You think she'd get tired. Maybe if I twisted her neck.
BLOOD
You will finish the machine or the girl will die.
RANDOLF
What do you want from me? This is complex, it breaks the laws of physics and the natural world. What do you expect?
GARY
I don't think he's going to cooperate. Maybe if the girl were more vocal.
RANDOLF
LEAVE HER ALONE!!
GARY
I don't believe I've ever heard the good doctor yell like that. And I used to put sharp things inside him.
WILLIAMS
Quit yapping or I'm taking your tongue next.
BLOOD
Finish the machine or we will torture and kill the girl.
GARY
And we'll make you listen. Watch if you're lucky.
RANDOLF
You're disgusting.
GARY
I've got a rotten mind. Literally.
BLOOD
Take them away.
(Gary carries off Tina, dragging the Lady. She raises her head as she passes, staring at Blood. For just a moment they meet gazes, then Blood looks away.)
BLOOD
My son.
(Williams looks to him.)
BLOOD
If the humans escape. I will look to you for answers.
(Williams stalks off. Blood looks at Randolf then leaves him alone. Randolf looks at the machine, exhales, hangs his head. Maybe he even cries. Fade to black. A sound begins. Water, dripping, slowly. Then motion, something moving in the dark. A light, fire on the head of a match. INSPECTOR CORDEAUX lights a lantern, dimly illuminating the abandoned subway tunnel where he is holed up. Moldy sheets and blankets piled in the corner, water dripping from the ceiling, odd items piled and placed about, a machete and other sharp implements sitting on a small table. Cordeaux lights another lantern, revealing a corner covered in grizzled flesh and picked bones, buckets of stagnant blood. His place of feeding. His clothes are cruddy, damp rags hanging off him. He lights another lantern. Ripper/Andy stands in the dark behind him, a foreboding figure.)
RIPPER
Did you think I wouldn't find you, Cordeaux? Cowering here in the dark. Squirming underground like a worm.
(Cordeaux slowly turns, disheveled, unable to speak.)
RIPPER
Nothing to say to your old partner. Maybe I shouldn't have cut your throat. Maybe I should of taken the whole top. Alright, quit yapping, you know what I want.
(Cordeaux grabs a bloody burlap sack and tosses it to Ripper.)
RIPPER
That easy. I remember a man who would have cut my throat for fun.
(Cordeaux turns away and staggers to his bucket of blood, filling a little tin cup and drinking. He continues to ignore Ripper as he takes a seat.)
RIPPER
Why are you still here?
ANDY
Leave him alone. We need to go.
RIPPER
That's my machete.
(Ripper walks to the table and picks up the machete as well as a bloody scalpel and a rusty kitchen knife.)
RIPPER
You don't clean your blades. Let the chef's knife go all rusty. I'm in my right mind to stick it in you and let it finish rusting.
ANDY
Have you been down here the whole time? For three months?
(He just drinks his blood, ignoring them.)
RIPPER
He couldn't get out. Trapped in England, hunted like the rest of us.
ANDY
Get your stuff and let's go.
(Ripper takes the machete and walks toward Cordeaux.)
ANDY
What are you doing? We need to go.
RIPPER
He's pathetic. Look at him.
ANDY
We need to go.
RIPPER
He fought alongside Joan of Arc. Struck fear in the hearts of children and soldiers alike. His name still haunts the children of France. A hero. A bogeyman. Slurping fermenting blood in the sewers.
ANDY
Yeah. Okay. He killed kids and now he has a crappy life. Not surprising karmatically.
RIPPER
Cordeaux. Cordeaux, look at me.
(He ignores them.)
RIPPER
This isn't what you want. Mute and helpless. I can end it. I can give you a warrior's death. An honorable end to the macabre reign of the Gilles de Rais. A heroes death for Inspector Cordeaux. I can give you that.
(Still ignoring them, he unbuttons his collar, showing more flesh of his neck. Then he returns to his cup. Ripper approaches and raises the machete.)
RIPPER
Think of this. All those parents who watched you hang all those years ago. Imagine how pissed they'd be to know you lived.
(Ripper swings the machete. Blackout. Blood walks out in the darkness, dim lights. He seems to be pondering. Out of the dark walks the Lady. Blood senses her, turns to her.)
BLOOD
You have escaped your bonds. Yet you walk freely unto your death.
LADY
Is there anywhere truly safe on this island? If I am to die, what reason do I have to delay the inevitable?
BLOOD
You think differently from other mortals.
LADY
So do you.
BLOOD
I am no mortal.
LADY
Aren't you? You live. You hope.
BLOOD
I am the absence of hope.
LADY
Then you are nothing. A wisp of foul air. For even in the deepest of Hells, hope prevails. In the blackest of hearts.
BLOOD
You speak so candidly to your lord.
LADY
You aren't my lord. And I'm not yours.
BLOOD
My lord has turned his back on me.
LADY
Even with his back turned, he still listens.
BLOOD
Who are you to say such things?!
LADY
I'm Welsh.
BLOOD
Then you are nothing. England is dead and I am it's murderer,
LADY
You underestimate the spirit of Britain. Even now the Red Dragon stirs beneath it's united kingdom. The brightest flame in the blackest night. It's people carry on.
BLOOD
It's people die.
LADY
Never. They will fight you in the fields and streets. They will fight you in the hills, with confidence and strength, whatever the cost may be. They will never surrender.
BLOOD
Idle threats risking death!
LADY
When does it become enough? When has enough Blood been spilt?
BLOOD
When the Lord or the Damned themselves rise up and take me to the grave! When the only blood left to be spilt is mine own.
(Gary and Williams run in.)
GARY
Humans! They're attacking!
LADY
England the Brave.
(The Lady calmly exits.)
BLOOD
The Vail?
WILLIAMS
We don't know. He hasn't been seen.
GARY
The Master is calling for you.
BLOOD
Meet our enemies at the gate. Send them to whichever Paradise or Damnation they prefer.
GARY
Shall I take care of the girl.
BLOOD
Mind your orders!
(Gary and Williams hurry off. Blood looks behind for the woman, knowing she isn't there. The lights fade. There is an explosion and a bright flash of fire. The stage glows, yells and screams in the background. Williams and Gary stand their ground. Two men rush forward. Williams grabs them both by the neck and squeezes until they crack and drop. Another man, Gary hacks with an axe into the man's gut, another one down. Two more men, Gary throws down the axe and grabs one, pulling out a knife and stabbing the man over and over,, laughing gleefully. Williams grabs the other and breaks his arm, he screams, high pitched.)
WILLIAMS
VAIL! SHOW YOURSELF!
(Hardy steps forward. Williams is shocked)
HARDY
Your obsession never ends. Even in death.
WILLIAMS
Hardy, get out of here!
HARDY
Let that man go.
(Williams does without even questioning. The man crawls away with his one good arm.)
GARY
Hey!
(He grabs his axe, a large overhead swing into the man's back. He screams then stops.)
GARY
What the shit!?
HARDY
This is what you've become. You were the greatest man I knew. And you side with this.
WILLIAMS
LEAVE!!
HARDY
I told you, I'm taking you home.
GARY
This your girlfriend or something? Rip him to shreds.
HARDY
Your wife. Think of her. Think of the life you're throwing away.
WILLIAMS
I'M DEAD! I DON'T HAVE A LIFE ANYMORE!
HARDY
Only the Vail, right? Andy fucking Vail.
WILLIAMS
Look what he made me.
HARDY
There comes a time when you have to stop pointing fingers and realize what you did to yourself.
WILLIAMS
You think this is what I wanted?
HARDY
It only matters what you are. You aren't a monster.
GARY
Yes, he is! Literally.
HARDY
Then kill me. If it doesn't really matter, end me.
WILLIAMS
I will eat you, Hardy.
HARDY
To die by your hands would be an honor, sir. You're my partner, thick or thin, life or death. We walk out of here together or we die together.
GARY
Fuck this!
(Gary raises the axe over Hardy. Williams is faster, speeding forward and throwing Gary down. The axe clatters to the ground as Williams rips into Gary, ripping him apart in a spray of blood and screams. They stop when Williams rips out his throat while chewing away at his tongue. Hardy looks on, eyes wide, jaw dropped, he turns his gaze away. Williams stops. Spits out a chunk of flesh, covered in blood. He looks to Hardy. Hardy looks back.)
HARDY
Now what?
(The lights fade. Blood enters, a radio in one hand, Tina held tight in his arm, his hand to her throat. The lights come up, Randolf stands at the machine. Blood puts the radio down.)
BLOOD
The time has come. The machine will work or the girl shall die. The Master has ordered it so.
RANDOLF
I'm not a magician. It doesn't work that way.
BLOOD
Then the girl dies.
(He grabs Tina with both hands, as if to rip her apart, she screams.)
RANDOLF
NO!
(Blood stops and Randolf weeps.)
RANDOLF
I'll do it. I will.
(He hooks up some wires, hits something, the machine hums to life, giving off a feint violet glow. Then he grabs the radio and places it atop the machine, hooking wires into it. He clicks on the radio and “Innocent When You Dream” is playing. Tina weeps in Blood's arms.)
BLOOD
Bring him in.
(There is the clank of metal as two suits of armor haul in Ed, he's kicking and screaming, no shirt on, and a patchwork of skin has been sewn onto his chest, thirteen skinned tatoos making one archaic symbol that kind of looks like three lobed eyes. They haul him to the machine and now we see it has clamps, cuffs which bind the wrists and ankles and neck. Randolf continues to weep as he stabs electrodes into Ed's temples.)
ED
LET ME GO! LET ME GO!! THIS ISN'T FAIR! I FOUND THEM FOR YOU! I DID WHAT YOU ASKED! YOU'D HAVE NOTHING WITHOUT ME!
BLOOD
Quiet, vermin. Die with what little dignity you have.
RANDOLF
It's ready.
BLOOD
Begin.
(Randolf hits a button and the violet glow grows in strength, sparks fly as Ed's body begins to jerk and scream. Then the scream stops and there is only the elctrical hum and the radio playing it's song. Andy/Ripper enter. The bloody sack in their good hand.)
BLOOD
You are too late. It has begun.
ANDY
We noticed.
RIPPER
It looks like the Lord of the Rings out there.
ANDY
There were a lot more humans in London than we thought.
BLOOD
It doesn't matter. The Master is coming.
RIPPER
Yeah, he's coming all over your face.
ANDY
Who is this Master anyway? I've been battling you for almost a year now, I figured you were the final boss or whatever.
BLOOD
He is the Master.
RIPPER
You can't define a word with the word.
BLOOD
He is the Gateway and the Key. The All-In-One and One-In-All. Trapped in the Void beyond Time and Reality since Creation itself. He is returning and with him creation itself will cease.
RADIO
I told you I'd find a way back.
ANDY
I know that voice. Tillhouse!
RADIO
He was merely a puppet. A keyhole I could peek through. This time I will be flesh.
RIPPER
That's what the tattoos were for. A binding insignia.
RADIO
The symbol of my avatar. Lost in time. Pieced together from the flesh of my followers ancestors.
ANDY
They were all in London?
RADIO
The Cult of Yaga had a convention at the Langham Hotel.
RIPPER
That's why we were drawn here. We could sense the rift you created.
RADIO
It was hard work. Made my way through a slew of other universes. Whispering through the dreams of this archaic bastard, your cop friend, Nancy Vail.
RIPPER
Impressive.
ANDY
You did all this, moved time and space, just to get revenge on us.
RADIO
Don't be so ingrown. I have many reasons for want my rebirth. You just annoy me. And once I'm born I will personally ring the lives from your flesh.
RIPPER
Great plan.
ANDY
Lots of work. Only thing is.
RIPPER
You ain't going nowhere.
BLOOD
Go near the machine and I kill the girl.
ANDY
What do you get out of this anyway?
BLOOD
Oblivion.
RIPPER
That's what this is about. Killing yourself by getting someone else to do it.
ANDY
That's too Twilight.
RIPPER
I thought you were the first vampire. The greatest evil.
BLOOD
I am so much more. I am the first death. The last death. Father of the damned.
RIPPER
And mother of the bride. Yeah, I get it. Your Cain. We've known this for a while now. Stop yapping about it.
ANDY
It won't work you know. You've spent millenia unable to find death of any kind and you suddenly think that'll change because this purple douche.
RADIO
You're too late. It's almost finished.
ANDY
Are we too late, Doc?
RANDOLF
It's never too late.
RADIO
Shut up.
BLOOD
You can stop nothing. Your precious world is doomed.
RIPPER
Fuck the world. The world is a pile of shit.
ANDY
We're here for the girl. Promised her dad. Let her go and we'll give you what you want.
BLOOD
You can offer nothing. Only Father Yaga can bring on the dark.
ANDY
Then what? You spend all of eternity unable to see. Bumping around in the dark oblivion where Earth used to be. We can offer you true peace. No paradise. No eternal torment. Just nothing.
RIPPER
All you have to do is let the girl go.
(Ed's body screams, the voice of the radio coming from his mouth.)
ED
Shut the fuck up! Kill them. Now!
(The suit of armor go to attack. Randolf throws something on the floor and the suits fall to the ground. Literally attracted to it, flailing like turtles on their back.)
RANDOLF
Electromagnet.
ED
Kill them, you idiot! Rip out their fucking throats!
ANDY
Think about it. Even if it does work is this how you want to go.
RIPPER
The first killer, the bane of God himself, spending his final days the bitch of an incorporeal sissy la-la.
ANDY
No one ever becomes who they expect to be. But do you really want to be that.
(Blood stands up straight. He lets the girl go. Randolf grabs her and runs off.)
ED
NOOOOO!!
(There is a purple flash and Ed is broken free of the machine. He turns to Blood.)
ED
YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME!!
(Blood grabs the patchwork of skin on his chest and rips it off. The purple light flashes and strobes, sparks flying from the machine, Ed screams and his voice is transferred back to the radio. Ed's body falls to the floor.)
RADIO
I WILL FIND YOU!! I WILL DESTROY ALL YOU LOVE!! I SWEAR!!
(A massive spark and the radio explodes into flame. The purple light dies away and the machine ceases to hum. Blood and Andy/Ripper stand there.)
ANDY
Guess that's the e--
(The machine flashes one final bright violet flash. Blackout. A moment, then the sound of running water. The lights slowly come up, like the rising of the sun. Standing beside a well is Blood. Andy/Ripper and Randolf enter.)
ANDY
Where have you been?
RIPPER
We've been looking for you everywhere. We had a deal.
BLOOD
I came looking for the Devil.
ANDY
At the Wear River?
BLOOD
It is said a sinner once met the Devil beside this well. He cursed the land with an insatiable demon worm and damned a knight to murder his own father. All because a sinner refused to attend Sunday worship.
ANDY
Damn.
RIPPER
We've done a hell of a lot worse.
BLOOD
Yet the Devil refuses to meet my gaze. What of the little girl?
RIPPER
You're probably the worst murderer of all time and you're asking about a little girl?
RANDOLF
Her parents were killed. She's homeless. Most people are. There's a lot of rebuilding to do. If any country can do it.
RIPPER
Lot of monsters to kill. The London Eye's a slaughterhouse. Demon's infesting Big Ben.
ANDY
These people are proving quite good, though. Apparently there was a whole underground. The Queen herself led the charge against the Tower.
RIPPER
Oddly coincidental everything happened on the same day.
BLOOD
And what of you, Doctor?
RANDOLF
Are you ready?
(Blood looks to the sky.)
BLOOD
Lord, if you are listening, leave me be.
(He looks at Andy/Ripper.)
ANDY
You know the deal, guys.
(Andy/Ripper and Randolf close their eyes tight. Andy lifts the gorgon head out of the bag, crusted blood on the roughly hewn neck, long golden hair flowing in the wind. Thunder rumbles overhead, a flash of lightning. It dies down and standing on the edge of the river is a perfect statue of Blood. Andy shoves the head back into the sack and they all open their eyes.)
RIPPER
Handy.
ANDY
Now what do we do with this? Or him?
RIPPER
Isn't there a warehouse somewhere? Full of crates.
RANDOLF
We need a boat. Drop them into the Atlantic.
ANDY
There's so much to do.
RANDOLF
The whole country's in the hole.
RIPPER
Hey. Killing monsters is what we do best.
ANDY
That's a hell of a New Year's resolution. Clear England of all monsters. What about you, Doc? You actually alright?
RANDOLF
I've spent the past three months being tortured. Watching people getting ripped to shreds before my eyes. Little sleep, an abundance of pain. I've had worse.
RIPPER
You're a bad motherfucker, Doc.
RANDOLF
We need to work quickly. It isn't over.
RIPPER
Yeah, yeah. Lots of monsters.
RANDOLF
No. That thing from the radio is still out there. It may not have form but it did cross over. And it had all of BBC Radio to escape into.
RIPPER
Are you fucking me? You saying that thing is loose somewhere in the radio waves.
RANDOLF
Trying to find it's way out.
ANDY
Can't it ever stop? We only have one hand.
RANDOLF
I can fix that.
ANDY
Really? You're good.
RANDOLF
I can fix it for one of you. The machine I built was designed to transfer energy. The synapses of the brain are simple electrical charges. That vampire's brain was lost in the process. I could transfer one of you.
ANDY
You're saying we don't have to share?
RIPPER
I could have my own body?
RANDOLF
But you wouldn't be the Vail anymore. One of you. You'd lose all the powers and sixth senses of the Vail.
ANDY
You'd be a vampire, though. That's not too bad.
RIPPER
Me?
RANDOLF
One of you.
RIPPER
No heartbeat. No warmth. Eating only blood.
ANDY
But you'd have two hands.
RIPPER
Then you'd do it. Think about it, you don't have to be the Vail anymore. This is your chance to be free.
ANDY
I don't know. I fought my way back from the dead already. I'm not ready to be dead again. Whether that mean's strolling around or not.
RANDOLF
You'll have to make a decision. Fast. That thing is still out there and it won't be patient.
RIPPER
It'll be fine. It would need to find someone with that tattoo anyway and that's lost in time or something. We got some time. Now let's go kill some fucking monsters.
(They walk off. The lights fade. Then a light bulb, a lamp. A small room with a chair, a WOMAN at a keyboard, composing. A radio in the corner. A young MAN enters.)
MAN
Stefani. You're on.
WOMAN
How's the crowd?
MAN
Don't suck.
WOMAN
Great.
(She stands. Her skirt lifts a little revealing a tattoo on her thigh.)
MAN
New ink?
(She lifts her skirt showing off the tattoo, a symbol that vaguely looks like a three lobed eye.)
WOMAN
You like it? I found it in one of my father's old books. It's supposed to stand for timelessness or God or something.
MAN
God?
WOMAN
Some sort of God.
MAN
Glad you thought this through. Guess it's better than that Chinese bullshit. You got five minutes.
(He leaves. She turns back to her keyboard. Suddenly the radio crackles then comes to life. “Innocent When You Dream” begins to play. Confused, she goes to shut off the radio. As she touches it there is a bright flash of violet, the radio sparking and catching aflame. The woman screams as she is knocked to the floor. A moment as the fire dies to smoke. The woman picks herself up and smiles, her eyes a light purple now.)
WOMAN
And it's such a sad old feeling. The fields are soft and green. And it's memories that you're stealing but you're innocent when you dream. When you dream. You're innocent when you dream.
(Fade to black.)
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