The Vail: London Fog (Episode Six: All That Were Slain Upon The Earth)

This episode was one fo the first ideas I ever had for the Vail. It took me almost twenty episodes to figure out where I could fit it in and I feel really happy with how it finally turned out. I must say that this was probably the hardest episode to right because I had so many preconceived notions about what I wanted it to be and what should happen. It was also tough because I found out that these vampires had a lot more to say then could be fit on five pages. So, honestly, there was a whole lot of material, stuff that I really liked, that I cut to make it short and sweet. Maybe one day I'll get to expand this scene and that stuff will come back. God, I really loved these guys and wanted to do so much. I really wanted Vincent to drop his accent at one point and reveal he was actually Welsh. Billy was totally going to have a hot older girlfriend. Ed was going to originally live and have to face off against a Twilight mother who actually thought vampires were real. And Eliza had my favorite line which I just had to cut: "Jesus Christ rose from the dead, had people drink his blood, and promised eternal life. Obviously a vampire." Oh, and Lupa was actually origi9nally supposed to be a form of vampire which actually takes the shape of a little porcelain doll and feeds on the life of unsuspecting children. But as I got to writing it I realized that there was a whole bunch of hairy, horned, crazy vampires who never get recognized in this world. This was there time to shine. But I'll stop talking now so you can read up. If you get the chance, though, I'd love to hear what you guys think of Blood. Is he cool? What do you think he is? I tried to do something simple but it may not have worked. Lemme know.

The Vail: London Fog

by Joey Pettine

Episode Six: All That Were Slain Upon The Earth

(A pub, center stage is a poker table surrounded by four pale characters with English accents. ED looks twenty, he wears a black t-shirt and jeans, his hair is gelled up in a ridiculous manner, and make causes his bare skin to sparkle like diamonds. His face broods over his cards. ELIZA wears an elegantly regal sixteenth century dress, she is the pure embodiment of culture. RENNY, a cliché butler, brings her a crimson fluid in a wine glass. She takes the blood red drink and sips politely. VINCE has jet black hair, an elegant suit, and adorns a black cape with bright red lining. His nails are long, his eyes intense, and he talks in a Romanian accent. Lastly, BILLY, looks about eight years old but his eyes have seen centuries pass. All four players reveal long fangs when they smile.)

BILLY

By the way, Lupa's stopping by.

ED

Not again. I thought we agreed not to invite him anymore.

VINCE

You agreed, Edward. The rest of us try not to be bigoted.

ED

I'm not bigoted. I just think if you wanna live in England you should learn English.

ELIZA

I must say, Vincent, this blood is absolutely delightful. Wherever did you procure it?

VINCE

She was a young Gypsy virgin killed on a bed of rosemary under a full blood moon.

ELIZA

I do love virgins. Nothing compares to the orgasmic taste of their unfulfilled desires. I would bathe in virgin blood every evening if they weren't so hard to come by these days.

ED

Lupa's always looking at me weird, too. Those evil snake eyes. I don't think a vampire should look like that.

BILLY

Right, they should be sparkly faggots.

ELIZA

Such language for such a small child.

VINCE

You should not speak so crudely, little boy.

ED

Unless you want Daddy to wash your mouth out with soap.

BILLY

Ha Ha Fucking Ha! It was funnier the first sixteen bloody times, you assholes!

ED

I don't see how my sparkles are any different than his cape or that rubbish accent. Dracula went out of style in the nineties, Vincent.

ELIZA

The difference is Vincent gets women over the age of twelve.

ED

Say what you will but since I've gone Cullen I've had more neck than a giraffe. Like age matters anyway. After a hundred years no one keeps count.

BILLY

I do eat babies. And I doubt those virgins are very old. Speaking of which: the other night an old lady catches me out after dark. Asks if I'm lost. I'm not one to waste a bloody opportunity. I look up and I do the droopy eyes thing. Then I quiver my bottom lip. She immediately goes over all glamoured, you know, that look that says they want you to give it to them. Then, get this bitches, I say, “Are you my mummy?” I actually say that and she falls for it. Crying, blubbering bout taking me to the police, every thing's gonna be alright, and as she lifts me into her caring, nurturing, motherly arms I rip her fucking throat out. Blood fucking everywhere; her larynx vibrating against my tongue, and God I’m getting a blood boner just thinking about it.

ELIZA

Charming.

BILLY

I finish with the old cunt and notice a lorry driver saw the whole damn thing. He floors it, pedal to the fucking metal, Dale Earnhardt hitting the wall kinda speed. He was surprised when I was already in his back seat. It was… It was priceless.

ED

You know that's the kind of behavior that gets you staked.

BILLY

Maybe I just have bigger balls than you?

RENNY

Will that be all, Master? Tru Blood is on tonight.

VINCE

For now, Rensworth. For now.

BILLY

Hang on, boot licker. Got something for you.

(Billy pulls out a jar with a spider. Renny, mad with hunger, grabs for it.)

BILLY

Ah ah. Sit.

(Renny sits cross legged.)

BILLY

Good boy.

(He gives him the spider. Renny looks happy as a school girl. Slowly, he lowers the wriggling arachnid into his mouth. Billy scratches him behind the ear.)

ED

Oh, God. I'm gonna be sick. Get him the fuck out of here.

(Renny hurries off.)

BILLY

I don't really like pets but I love watching them do tricks.

ELIZA

Why do you have a problem with Renny. We all eat.

ED

I eat humans; clean, healthy animals. Plus, I'm a monster, I'm aloud to do sick shit. What's his excuse?

VINCE

He has pledged allegiance to me and in return for his loyalty I shall reward him with eternal life.

ELIZA

Vincent, you seem weary.

VINCE

They have found evidence of a previously undiscovered tomb in Westminster Abbey. Right next to my crypt. The diggers kept me up all day.

ED

That's what you get for sleeping in a coffin instead of a bed.

BILLY

The English are morons. Always unearthing things. Ghoul attacks in the Underground aren't enough. Some things should be left earthed.

ELIZA

Too many horrible things live in sealed tombs. Ghouls, goblins, us.

ED

Godzilla, The Balrog.

(LUPA runs in. He wears human clothes but his arms and head are covered in yellow fur. Silver horns protrude from his forehead, silver tusks from his mouth. His eyes truly are those of a snake and, weirdest of all, he walks backward. He makes a series of clicking and popping sounds.)

BILLY

Lupa, calm the fuck down!

ELIZA

What's wrong?

BILLY

He says... He says the Thames ran red with blood. That we will be devoured by blood.

ED

Holy shit. I'm going swimming.

VINCE

Blood? Could it be?

ELIZA

That is just a myth invented by werewolves to scare us.

BILLY

We will be devoured by blood?

(BLOOD enters. He is completely naked, very fit, and blood cakes from his chin down his chest. In his hand he holds a heart. They all stand to meet him.)

BLOOD

I awoke and the first sensation I felt was the blood running through your lifeless veins. The first aroma I sensed was the humanity which clings to your unworthy flesh. The first word I heard uttered was... Vampire. This meat belonged to a creature which called itself a vampire. It was still beating when I plucked it.

VINCENT

Rensworth.

BILLY

It speaks English. How does it know the language?

ED

Cause it's in England.

BLOOD

Did you believe I would sleep forever? Did you believe I slept? I was lulled by whispers. A far away voice which spake of things to come and reminded me of what was. It spoke of innocence and dreams, fire and death, of the disgraces which writhe within this earth's muck and dare to use my name. Vampire. I remember when that name inspired fear.

(Lupa tries to run. Blood intercepts him, gouges out his eyes with his fingers, then feasts of the blood which runs from his skull. Lupa screams and when Blood has had his fill he leaves him mewling upon the floor. Then Billy attacks. Blood grabs him and tears his throat out but leaves him alive and squealing.)

BLOOD

I have had my fill of dead man's blood but your screams will suffice. Say your final prayers, revenants. Blood will wash over this land.

(Eliza turns to Vince and begins to make out with him. Ed looks astonished.)

ED

Great, I'm the third wheel during vampire apocalypse.

BLOOD

And in him was found the blood of prophets, and of saints, and of all that were slain upon the earth.

(Blood rears his head back, letting out a demonic squeal, and blood rains from the ceiling. Blackout.)